The Tide

My once shaking hands, now steady themselves
While I try to create an imperfect phrase
To compliment your perfection
So I can see the glitter glisten in your eyes
I’m usually unable to stop my mouth from running
But I guess it wants to rest against your lips
While my hand wants to preserve the feeling on your cheek

No matter how far I strayed
It seems my feelings for you stayed
No matter how far I strayed
It seems my feelings for you stayed

The pump in my chest tries to keep up with
The beating of your heart
I’m hoping it can catch up
You’re turning the blood red in my head into pastel pinks
While I pessimistically and carefully fall for you

No matter how far I strayed
It seems my feelings for you stayed
No matter how far I strayed
It seems my feelings for you stayed

Wherever I run I can’t find another human
That can warm the cold like you
Your brown eyes have glistening seas in them
And a tide that pulls me closer with each glance
So wash over me and I’ll keep swimming in your moonlight

Advertisements

The Night Nadeen Meeran Came Into My Dream

Twist around the words on my tongue
Feel the aching in my chest
I think I’m losing myself again
While dreaming about a better me
But isn’t a better me just a different version
Of the person I am now
So is he really better?

I’m waiting for the curls in my hair
To straighten themselves
But we know that’s never happening

I’m avoiding white tops
So I don’t spill my emotions over it
Cause I know both blood and wine stain
It’s been a few years and I’m not the same

Turn around and face the emotions behind your eyes
Feel the tiredness of my neck
From holding my head up high in imaginary skies
Maybe I just let myself down for a bit
I wanna let body rest by my mind’s always at work
So I’ll let my bones feel the heat
While my skin burns

I’m avoiding my house
Cause the same three walls keep blocking the fourth
Causing me to lose my third dimension
I’m fearing that everyone can see my insecurities
Through the glass ceiling I call myself

Obsession//Repression

My obsession with self-improvement
That’s leading me back into my self-destruction
I’m loving the dark clouds it brings overhead
Making me feel comfortable in self-pity
So why won’t you wallow in the filth with me

I don’t have my mother’s depression but I feel like I’m getting close
I’ve inherited my father’s repression stopping all these emotions from spilling out
The world’s full of doom so won’t you grab my hand
While I try to understand the thoughts swimming through me

Darling, your mascara’s on my chest
The glow from your eyes illuminating my bedsheets
Covered in cum and sweat
We’ve both been getting high on the chemicals
From our insides
But alas once this fades
Will our feelings be spared and will we still remain?

Bend my faith over itself and burn it on the alter
Maybe I can pray for a better day
But is there anything better than praying that you don’t clean
These dirty sheets that are going to remind me of you
When you’re gone

Strung

I kinda like the way your body detoxes mine
Making me feel clean again
There’s picture frames missing from the memories
Of you and I
I’m conflicted whether I should be feeling this
Or if I’m wanting to give this a miss

With that said it’s obvious that the two halves
That split me in two
Are always thinking of you

You’ve got me strung on our past
And how it’s moved too fast
I’d give it one more chance
If you’d give me another dance

I’m at a loss at for words
When you’re smiling at all the stupid things I do
The walls of my room are pastel blue
But I’m staring at a ceiling that’s porcelain like your skin
I’m pretty sure you realise how paper thin I am
Yet how complex everything surrounding this is

I can’t remember a life before you
Cause you’ve been running through my mind
But I can’t comprehend what you’re trying to find

You’ve got me strung on our past
And how it’s moved too fast
I’d give it one more chance
If you’d give me another dance

1095 Days

You make the plastic taste on my lips
Feel real once again
I never want to leave a bitter taste on yours
I’m hoping eventually you remove the synthetic feeling
And replace it with something more real
Now my blood, once flowing through these veins
Touches my skin because every part of me wants to be closer
To you

I don’t feel the blue
When I’m close to you

I’ve felt so many other souls
None of them can stop the cold
I’ve felt so many other souls
None of them can stop the cold

The chemicals, more natural than they’ve ever been
Keep drawing me to you
Dopamine acting like sunscreen to protect me from the heat
Your eyes radiate
And when you laugh I can physically see the sunlight reflecting off you
So light my moon in the night sky

I’ve felt so many other souls
None of them can stop the cold
I’ve felt so many other souls
None of them can stop the cold

Glimmer // Glamour

I feel alive,
When I’m making mistakes
Like the ones on my lips
And the ones that involve chemicals
Flying through my heart and my mind
So darling with that in mind
How are you starting to feel about the way
You’ve been complimenting my neck
Without speaking

I’m aware of the damage that comes from this
But loneliness and selfishness have decided for me
You’re aware of the damage that comes from this
But you just keep trying to give my lips another taste

I’ve been dying,
To tell you all the damages I’ve done
Cause driving you away is the right thing to do
But I’ve never been good at doing what’s right
The worst part, you wouldn’t listen anyway
I’m not a project and I don’t need saving
I just want to steal the glimmer from your eyes
And replace it with the glamour of our lies

I’m aware of the damage that comes from this
But loneliness and selfishness have decided for me
You’re aware of the damage that comes from this
But you just keep trying to give my lips another taste

When this ends you’ll tell me I deserve to be alone
While I’m jaded you’ll understand why it’s so easy
For you to fall out of love with me

God // Human

Honey, your eyes speak to me
I’m looking for God
So she can make me feel a little bit
More human
I hope you look both ways when running
Through my mind
But whichever path you take
It’ll end up gold

I can’t help thinking about the stardust
That’s glowing on your lips
But I really shouldn’t think about sunsets
Unless they’re in your eyes
I just wanna read the heat
While I’m feeling cold

I’m wanting to waste my time thinking about God
While I hope she’s thinking about me
I promise we don’t have to talk about anything real
When I’m coming down
Just don’t let me go

I can’t help thinking about the stardust
That’s glowing on your lips
But I really shouldn’t think about sunsets
Unless they’re in your eyes
I just wanna read the heat
While I’m feeling cold

Graduation & Infatuation (Smirnoff & Tango Dreams PT.2)

I’m still waiting for the graduation of my infatuation with you
I’ve been moving ever so slow
There’s a flow to all these words
There’s a flow to how I’ll always come back to you
I thought I’d be confident by now
You’re twenty-two this time
But everything feels like you’re twenty-one
And I wish we could start again

I know the coast is where your home is
But don’t me tell you gotta go
I wanna dance ever so slow with you
I know the coast is where your home is
But don’t me tell you gotta go
I wanna dance ever so slow with you

This is supposed to be a graduation ball
And I can’t help but want to fall back into your arms
I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t
Cause I sleep tight thinking about you
And I sleep alright when I dream of you
But I believe I can’t be awake if I’m thinking of you
I guess I’m out of my mind thinking a second chance
Is what you’d give me

I know the coast is where your home is
But don’t me tell you gotta go
I wanna dance ever so slow with you
I know the coast is where your home is
But don’t tell me you gotta go
I wanna dance ever so slow with you

I can feel, I can feel
You grab the grey clouds
And fill the space with a violet sky
You can feel, you can feel
My tears on your neck
While I keep whispering
“Please don’t go”
Cause I wanna dance ever so slow
With you.

Sleep

I spend a lot of time in room
Thinking about if I’ll reach twenty two
Because I keep trying to be someone new
But I’ll fall back into a sleep pattern that lasts
Until three in the afternoon and begins at two in the morning
Lately that’s made me wonder whether there’s a point in waking up
Cause I’ve come to realise that I’m growing a void inside myself
That’s slowly taking my mental health

I spend a lot of time writing melodies
So that I can get it all out in the open
But I’ll hide behind another metaphor
And polysyllabic lexis that’ll confuse you
So you don’t ask how I am
I’ll just tell you that these’ll sound better while I’m at my worst
Give you a smile and say I’m okay

I spend a lot of time writing about black, blue and blonde
But you all know I’m fond of pink
Ironically enough I prefer the night sky
Yet I’m constantly dreaming of pastel pink
I’m not worthy of those though
So some dreams can just be dreams
And some nightmares can be nightmares

Smirnoff & Tango Dreams

Maybe this place isn’t where I belong
Cause all my mistakes are becoming vultures
Tearing me piece by piece
And maybe I’m my problem
So I don’t know whether I should stop them
I’m forgetting how to stand at parties
And what to do with my hands?
I guess I’ll use them to write words that’ll destroy
Your trust in me
But I guess I’ll let your words just strangle me
There’s something haunting
About your spilled drinks
That keeps coming up in my dreams

So give me one more pep talk
While the vultures keep score

I’m waking up breathless from this dream
I’m waking up breathless to a nightmare
I’m waking up breathless from this dream
I’m waking up breathless to a nightmare

So I’m trying to find my place in all these familiar faces
I’m feeling eighteen again
But you had red hair back then and didn’t know I exist
You’re twenty-one right now though
And your plump lips and blue eyes
Are keeping me occupied
Just keep drowning me in the violet sea on your head
I’m not sure what’s real and what’s a dream
All I know is vodka sent me here and that’s why I don’t drink it often

I’m happy you’re scaring off the vultures
If only it was like that in reality
So just tell me you love me

I’m waking up breathless from this dream
I’m waking up breathless to a nightmare
I’m waking up breathless from this dream
I’m waking up breathless to a nightmare

I’m walking outside for a cig
But the devil’s hands get me by the throat
And he’s stopping me saying whatever I’m meant to
You know it’s hard when you see yourself in his eyes
You know it’s hard when you have his blood in your veins
So I guess self doubt is the devil in my bloodstream.